Communication Does Not Always Need Words
by life is struggle
Summary: Steve and Natasha find themselves getting closer. In doing so, they discover a way of communication meant for the use of many, which serves their bonding more than either of them would expect: Morse Code.


**A/N Okay, Romanogers fandom. This one is for you guys. I hope I did our ship justice as a fan who has just watched the films and has not yet had the opportunity to read any of the comics. Because life.**

 **Anyway, I do hope you enjoy it. I apologize in advance for any mistakes in grammar or spelling. My proofreading may prove lacking.**

The first time it happens, it is entirely due to imbecilic HYDRA agents.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. with the help of Vision has located a hideout of SHIELD agents that have recently gone rogue and joined the ranks of HYDRA.

However, it turns out that their technological setup is rather lacking because Natasha manages to hack into their systems 5 minutes after the team has been transported to the drop off spot. Steve thinks the agents haven't gotten a proper initiation in the Nazi-born organization; otherwise there would be no practical way of pinpointing the lair. HYDRA's systems usually do have an additional protective barrier installed as a fail-safe, and as a means of alerting the handlers to the presence of the Avengers. It is how HYDRA has managed to remain alive, holding on to its egregious purpose of total domination.

Steve would have allowed SHIELD based agents to handle this, but HYDRA was, and quite possible will be his business for the near future, so the whole team is geared up and ready to strike the considered-easy target out.

So, of course, it turns out to be worse. _Of course._

Falcon is scanning the overview of the premises- his job is definitely made easier by the tree foliage. Mistake. The trees may be hiding the base, but they also provide Sam with concealment, so he can take a thorough look (Steve can't conceal a derisive snort at the repetitive nature of the hiding spots, which earns him an amused chuckle by Natasha, who was snarking about it all the way here).

The quiet on Steve's com doesn't last for long, though, as a message comes through.

"Captain, the preliminary analysis of the scans indicates high levels of nuclear elements," Vision's crisp voice announces.

Natasha, who has been laying low next to him, rolls her eyes, as if to say _What's new?_

"Vision, how many nuclear elements are we talking about? Density?" Steve asks sharply, only to get an immediate reply in:

"Dense enough to compile about…three nuclear bombs in the underground compartment, Captain."

Natasha outright swears a curse in Russian, only for the same curse to be echoed by Wanda in Sokovian.

Steve is inclined to agree with what he imagines they're saying because there is no way they will open fire on the HYDRA basis now. They can't risk destabilizing whatever experiment HYDRA is carrying out.

They have to sneak in the old-fashioned way.

Steve and Natasha swiftly make their way from their current hiding spot to a relatively close distance from the base and wait.

Wanda is positioned at an angle facing the entrance, which makes it simple for her to take out the guards stationed in front of it.

There are others on patrol, according to the info Sam is feeding to them through the coms, so they have to hurry.

Once the entrance doors are appropriately hacked, leaving no other trace but a hint of a smirk on Natasha's face, Wanda moves and all three of them get into the base.

Naturally, all goes to hell from there.

It turns out that living up to the work of their predecessors, HYDRA was utilizing nuclear elements as an attempt to replicate the process of creating super-soldiers. Needles to say, the experiment went completely out of control and the agents facing them now are superhumanly strong, with enhanced senses, but they- well. They're entirely out of their senses. Steve also thinks he spots red patches of skin, but shakes himself out of it.

The moment the Avengers interrupted the scientific process, they were let loose, and Steve thanks his lucky stars those immoral creatures have not used gamma radiation. Facing five Hulks at once wouldn't be pleasant.

Wanda is stuck facing one of them, and reinforcements are just a couple of steps behind, but Steve and Natasha are in a tight spot, being chased by the rest of the enhanced beings.

In the back of his mind, Steve is just a little insulted. Not just on his behalf, but on Wanda's too. Frankly, these beings resemble rogue zombies more than anything else. Not to mention that the unnatural colour…No.

His musings are hampered by Natasha's swinging up to get into an air duct. She rolls in, allowing him room to enter too and they remain silent, holding their breaths, because the enhanced do have an advantage of better hearing.

A couple of them run ahead, but the rest are still looking for them.

Steve knows he and Natasha can take them out, but his brain is currently assaulted by images of Red Skull and he needs to take few- albeit silent- breaths to focus.

It's then that he feels Natasha's hand in his. They both have their gloves on, but he feels pressure on his palm. Alternating beats of pressure and release, and his mind effortlessly translates the Morse code: _Are you okay?_

He glances up at her, smiling in reassurance and nods in return. His breathing comes easier now and he feels a smirk starting to take over as he sends her a message of his own: _I'll take the one on the right._

He is confident her smirk is matching his.

The second time, it is due to noise.

All the Avengers are showing up at the Stark Gala, which normally would not happen, but this time the gala is focused on procuring money for the Maria Stark Foundation. All of them feel strongly about making the world a better place and besides fighting aliens on the streets of New York, supporting the foundation and its charity work constitutes another way of helping.

Their presence gives prestige to the entire organization, or at least those were Pepper's words, so it is important that they make an appearance and try to engage in as much conversation about the capabilities of the Foundation as possible.

Sam and Rhodey seem to be proclaiming their confidence in the Foundation all night. That is all night along with the amount of time Colonel Rhodes allocates to the relation of War Machine stories.

Wanda and Vision are mingling with the other members of the Avengers team that are finally back in the game. Currently, Clint is sharing some photos of Nathaniel with Wanda, which makes the young girl smile sadly.

Steve is overlooking the entire thing from a corner where he managed to find refuge. It is not that he did not convince quite a few people to support the cause the Foundation is fighting for. He does not find it difficult to speak passionately about something he highly values. He has checked its work and was also interested enough to talk to Maria about it and get some pretty useful explanations which he happened to utilize tonight when he was talking to a Senator.

Nevertheless, prodigious formal gatherings have never been his style. After a while, he found his head overwhelmed and sought a little solace from all the attention he had been attracting. Because it could not have been just the politicians and journalists, but he just had to be approached by a number of the females in the ballroom.

Tony seemed awfully amused by that fact and made it known to him as he passed by and whispered "Wow, you're killing it tonight, Capsicle."

Despite his best efforts to chat amicably and politely turn down offers to dance, the situation tired him and that is how he found himself pretending he had an important matter to discuss with Sam and moved to the sidelines.

Seriously, give him an army of soldiers any day. He sips from his champagne glass, observing as Clint draws Laura close to him while the band prepares to play a slow song.

He feels more than hears Natasha slide next to him and grasp his fingers lightly.

She stays quiet as the lights, the laughter, and the music fill the room. It feels as if they are watching from a floating bubble. As if the present is temporarily paused.

Their silence forms a barrier to the sound. It is not uncomfortable. Tension is slowly letting go of his shoulders and he hears a small, relieved sigh leave Natasha as well.

He nods along to her relief, slowly indulging in his drink. Keeping up with her charming, but deadly persona is already her profession. He knows for a fact she would have preferred staying in and helping him finish the list of movies he has to go through. It has become one of her favourite past-times- mostly because she gets to tease him about all he has missed.

A thought suddenly occurs to him. They might not be in their primary choice of a place to spend their evening, but that is not to say they can't have fun.

His fingers tap a message in her palm and a small smile graces her face as she arches her eyebrow to look at him.

 _Would you like to dance?_

He places his glass on a passing waiter's try as she leads him to the centre of the room, while other couples are dancing to the slow rhythm.

"Well, soldier. Who'd know? You have been practicing," she whispers in his ear, as he pulls her a bit closer and lets the music become their new bubble.

He finds he doesn't mind galas so much any more.

The third time it happens, it's not necessary or sudden. It is spontaneous. It is natural. It is theirs.

It has officially become their thing. Something that not only happens when he is upset and needs comfort or when she is feeling lonely and needs to be reminded that he is there.

No. Exchanging messages in Morse code by pressing on each other's palms is not strictly normal. Then, again, their lives are anything but normal. So, they just go along with it.

And even though it initially occurred when they were alone, or seemingly uninvolved with the rest of perfectly functional human beings, the messages now come as part of their routine.

They are having breakfast with the team and Tony is raving about a new piece of machinery, which could improve Steve's uniform by at least 10% in some abstruse way, when she taps _And then the uniform decides to wake up and go join the circus with the other freaks_.

The comment is rather close to home with everything that occurred with Ultron, but they are trying to minimize the AI apocalypse's importance, plus it is delivered with her natural sarcastic nonchalance and…

He ends up choking on his spoonful of cereal, while everyone else looks deeply perplexed.

Another time, they are in the now monthly scheduled Avengers get-togethers when Thor drinks too much and attempts to reproduce the supposedly heavenly sounds of the Asgardian songs. All the others are making serious effort not to laugh- except for Tony who is giggling in the corner because he's watching Clint pretend to gag himself behind the alien prince. That's when Steve taps: _My barbershop quartet was much better than this_ , and Natasha (who was barely holding on to a semblance of control) bursts into laughter and leans into his side.

Steve still remembers the warmth in his chest and the smile that remained on his face for the rest of the evening.

(He still remembers wanting to make her laugh for the rest of his life, too. But he can't tell her that. At least, not yet.)

Their team is used to seeing them being physically near each other, despite the jabs Tony keeps throwing at them occasionally. Read: most of the time.

They don't let that bother them, though. Natasha has quite a few pieces of information to blackmail him with, like the one time he got so drunk he wore Captain America underwear and leaned over the balcony reciting the national anthem. Tony doesn't know, but Maria totally recorded the whole thing and sent it to the Widow first thing in the morning.

As for Steve's reaction to Tony's rejoinders, well… he just doesn't really care. His only worry would be if Natasha minded and she hasn't shown any hint of that at all.

On the contrary, she seeks him out to spar, goes out with him to have milkshakes in his old neighborhood, keeps watching films with him even though his list is complete.

They are close, sure. And they have entrusted each other with pieces of their past they both find hard to recall. But their flirting is light and they stay off the more personal subjects.

Steve knows he feels more. He knows it when he wakes up and the hue of her red hair is the first colour to in his mind in spite of the brilliant blue of the sun. He knows it when he sits down to sketch the buildings he can see from the top of the Tower and all his drawings end up as sketches of her face. He knows it when he notices a hint of a smile every time they discover a new dive bar or random food cart. This hint grows into a radiant grin when he leaves her at her floor at the end of the night. She always leans in to kiss his cheek. He makes it a habit to kiss her cheek, or sometimes her forehead, in return.

He wishes she would just tell him if she feels the same, but she is happy. And it is his doing. So he just waits for her and smiles back.

It is when this whole thing they have between them is noticed by Fury- of all people- that Steve starts to think **he** may not know if she reciprocates, but the old spy definitely does.

Steve is not an idiot (no matter how many times Bucky may call him that when he catches him staring at the red head while she's sparring).

Which is why Fury's look gives him a bit of hope.

They are sitting in the so-called conference room, occupying a round table and staring at a few holo-images of weapons dealers that have recently started dabbing into the trade of more unstable concoctions.

Maria is presenting each individual and their info, but it is kind of pointless because they had all received the files last night.

Which now, leads to them being bored. And, thus, turning into hyperactive five year olds.

Tony has been yawning for the past ten minutes. Clint has been throwing pretend arrows at Rhodey, who is also pretending to duck. Peter is whispering dumb jokes into Wanda's ear and Natasha… Natasha decided to prolifically exploit her boredom by tapping a comment on his palm when she notices something she finds noteworthy.

 _I would kill for a massage right now. My back is killing me,_ she taps while shaking her head at Peter. Their youngest team member has noticed Clint's game and is pretend shooting webs at Sam.

 _Well, you did fall asleep on the couch,_ he replies. To her defense, a solo mission had exhausted her and she had slipped into his floor, trying to catch him awake, but he was out.

He found her sleeping when he came back and just draped a blanket over her.

 _You could have moved me,_ she snorts.

 _You would have punched me in the gut,_ he points out.

The drone of Fury's voice goes on as she ponders this for a moment and just shrugs at him after she taps: _Yeah, probably. But you can take it._

She is supporting her head with her right fist, her shoulders sagging. She is still tired. Not that anyone else can tell, he thinks. Her exhaustion is only noticeable from where he's sitting and that's because they're next to each other.

He subtly leans forward a tiny bit, silently offering his shoulder as support. She glances at him and accepts his offer, keeping her fist at its place, but placing most of the pressure of her head on his shoulder.

"Everything alright, Agent Romanoff?" Fury's voice wakes him from his Natasha-induced stupor.

A glance around tells him only Wanda has seen what has been going on. She's sporting a slightly mischievous smile and she's looking at him with a slightly raised eyebrow.

Steve turns to look at Natasha, who is just lightly shaking her head from where it's resting against his shoulder.

"It wasn't exactly my idea to send me on a solo mission to extract info we need about this one," she huffs, half-glaring at the former Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Steve can feel both the old spy's eyes on him, which is a bit disconcerting to day the least. Nevertheless, he doesn't move.

He can hear someone snicker, but the sound is replaced by a protesting 'ouch' before he can slightly turn around.

He sees Tony pouting and holding his shoulder. Sam, who is sitting next to him, is shaking his head in exasperation.

"Bobbi," he hears Natasha whisper as Fury goes back to talking, and he turns to glance at the blonde who is on his right.

Bobbi is taking in everything, but as soon as she feels his gaze, she gives him a smug grin in reply.

Steve's chest is trying to hold in a chuckle. He is, nonetheless, shaking. He can spot a smirk on Nat's face, so he considers that a win.

It's not until later that day, after they had gotten the whole scoop about the 'new mastermind wannabes' as Peter had called them, that the full implications of the situation occur to Steve. Needless to say, he startles so much that his coffee mug falls on the floor and breaks into a million pieces.

Bucky, returning from the kitchen with a fresh mug has him sit down and talk. It's the first time Steve admits he might be feeling a bit too much for the Russian assassin.

His best friend remains silent. After a few minutes, though, he offers a pat on the back and says: "I know she's been trying to help me by telling you how mind control works. It's not easy for her. And you'll probably never properly grasp it. But she wouldn't do it if she didn't care for you. She wouldn't be trying to help me that much, not even out of guilt for our shared past… Plus, former mind controlled weapon talking right here. I can assure you no one like us shows that kind of vulnerability, even if not obvious to anyone else, just because. She feels the same way. The question is if she knows it."

Steve wholeheartedly hopes that the first piece of love advice his best friend has given him since that awful dancing venture about seventy years ago is the truth.

The fourth time it happens, Steve is not expecting it.

She had found him late at night, punching a bag, muscles glistening from sweat in an attempt to make the nightmare leave his body and mind.

It had been four months since Peggy's death and her wish for him to go on, to find a new dream, live a new life had been echoing in his mind while he was awake and invading his sleep in the form of scary nightmares where Red Skull finished his life and the second chance never came.

She had waited in the shadows until all that was left of the punching bag was dust and then approached him carefully, took him by the hand and sat him down on a bench in the training room.

He still remembers the sound of his beating heart in his ears. The way her palm felt in his when she joined their hands and rested her head on his shoulder.

She had started talking. A story about her mother singing to her when she was a child. She became so immersed in it he could picture her eyes staring at nothing as she hummed an unknown but welcome melody in the dead of night.

He did it out of impulse. He had never planned for it to slip out this way. Especially without words. But his treacherous hands, his fingers tapped _I love you_ into her skin without a second thought.

He can still recall how she stilled. How the warmth of her body left his body chilling and she slipped away into the shadows she had appeared from.

It was the next morning when she didn't walk into training talking and laughing with Wanda that he knew she was gone.

He spends his days training with Wanda and Peter, running with Sam, and endlessly sketching. The red hues appear without question and it's not like he can help it.

He feels his second chance has slipped through his hands and there's nothing he can do about it. He knew she would be scared. He was afraid she would run. Now, he's just unhappy.

It's been two weeks.

So, it's natural that the last thing he expects when he lies down and tries to get to sleep is the bed dipping next to him.

He knows it's her. He can feel it in every pore of his being, but she left. And some part of him doesn't want to turn around and have to face his life without her.

But he also knows that would be unfair. She's here to talk. He might not always understand why she does things the way she does, but he'd always tried to listen.

So he turns around to look at her. Her face is hidden in the darkness of the room, but the rest of her form is slightly illuminated by the moonlight, so he doesn't miss the way her hand reaches forward a bit as if to clasp his own. She seems to think twice about that move, though, and retracts it quickly.

Her voice is a whisper in the quiet. So small the noise from the cars outside could make it disappear like exhaust steam.

"I was scared. We were getting closer and I didn't know what to think. I wanted to protect you. I don't have the best track record with relationships or with… anything really. And you Steve… You're good. I believed you deserved more than a reformed killer. More than what people would say is an adulteress after your innocence…"

"I'm not a child, Natasha. I know what I want," his voice carries with finality despite his whisper matching hers.

She's silent for a moment before she nods. "I know. I know and I… I've been working with myself, trying to find out who I am… Who I want to be… Trying to find a genuine identity before a fake one. I've been trying to do that since Washington. And just… I thought I would go with what felt right and being around you… It felt like the best thing I could be doing until I realized I was developing feelings for you. Steve… You need to understand; I have always said love is-

"For children, yeah," he purses his lips. He's always been aware of Natasha's deeply ingrained mantra and how she uses it as a means to protect both others and herself from the self she considers a monster.

"…Yes… I- I have said that. To people trying to get to know me. Behind all the disguises and the guile of the Russian fame fatale. Clint didn't buy it. He gave me a chance and now, he's the closest thing I have to a brother. And… you. You didn't buy it either. You asked me to be genuine. You asked me to be a friend."

"Because I believed you could be. And you did," he answers mechanically and shakes his head. He's done playing games. But she manages to catch him off guard before he even says something.

She reaches forward and clasps his hand in her own and in that moment all Steve can do is stare at her. Because she is Natasha. And she never initiates contact consciously with no reason.

"The Russian seductress look has been my way of survival. My ticket out of darkness. I hadn't realized what darkness it would veil me in until it was too late. And being here, with the Avengers, with you and Clint, I feel like I've gotten a new start. A way to wipe out my ledger in the light, no matter how used I am in operating in the shadows. This is why I came back after DC. To find myself. And to my great surprise, I found you as well. And it did take me two weeks to decide this, but Steve… I don't want to lose you."

She leans forward and places a soft kiss on his lips as gentle as the touch of a feather.

Steve presses his lips to hers lightly, reciprocating, until she pulls back and waits.

"So, we're doing this? Us? Being together?" he asks uncertainly, his fingers playing with hers as he still holds her palm in his own.

She smirks then. An all too familiar and achingly beautiful Natasha smirk.

"Are you asking me out, Rogers?" she teases, arching her eyebrow.

"I am. Are you saying yes?"

She slithers into the bed with him gracefully, reaches up to run a hand through his hair and leans in to murmur in his ear: "Yes, soldier. I definitely am."

He doesn't remember much. Only that at some point between gasps and kisses, he felt a light pressure on his palm. _I love you._

The delicate sound of wave after wave lightly rushing to cover the sand of the shore is reaching his ears.

The smell of roses, mixed with expensive cologne, and speckled with a brush of fresh mint is invading his senses.

He slowly opens his eyes to adjust them to the sight of two rows of white chairs, slightly sinking in the brown sand, some of them empty and others occupied from a rowdy Asgardian, a brilliant astrophysicist and her assistant, and a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist who decided to 'sponsor the wedding of the year- No! The millennium!'

Steve chuckles thinking about Tony's reaction when he first found out about his and Natasha's relationship. He does have to give kudos to the man, though. He had lasted about five whole minutes until the first innuendo was out of his mouth.

The other guests are milling around and making small talk while waiting for a signal to sit down and have the ceremony begin.

'Are you ready for this?' he hears Bucky's deep voice as he walks, coming to stand on his left.

'Yeah, Buck. I am,' he says as he feels Bucky clap his shoulder and nod at him, much in the same way he had when he had found him.

Steve feels a calm inside him. He has his best friend, his new family with the Avengers (despite how dysfunctional they all- including himself- can be at times), and now he is about to marry the woman he loves.

He feels really blessed in this moment. Then, he notices Pepper rush down the makeshift wooden planked aisle and knows it's time for this – their wedding- to start.

True to her self-appointed position as organizer Pepper gets everyone seated within a couple of minutes and the next thing Steve knows, everything disappears.

Natasha is walking down the aisle, accompanied by Clint, and the look they share sheds away all disguises.

Her green eyes are sparkling and he imagines she can see the same happiness in him, master of reading others, but especially him.

Her red curls are framed in the striking whiteness of the veil she is wearing, the sea breeze entangling the two and making his fingers itch for a pencil and a sketchbook.

But he has all the time in the world to sketch her and he has all the time in the world to hold her and kiss her and be with her.

 _I think I found my way, Peggy_. He swears he can hear her delighted laugh in the next breeze that caresses his hair as he moves forward to grasp Natasha's hand and shake Clint's as he leaves his best friend to join Laura in the first row.

Natalia is looking at him with the hint of a playful smirk and squeezes their laced fingers.

He smiles and they turn to face the official as he starts to speak and thanking everyone for coming to celebrate their union…

Natalia is holding his hand, but when she squeezes this time he turns around. She is not using their Morse code.

At his questioning gaze, she smiles.

'I love you,' she whispers and his heart grows even bigger than it has before.

'I love you,' he whispers back and he is certain that Bucky is smiling and rolling his eyes in the background and Peggy and his mom and dad are smiling from heaven along with Natasha's parents.

And for the first time, even tapped words fail to describe how he feels.

 **A/N And it's over. This one is dedicated to chalantness over on Tumblr for her inspiring Romanogers fics that urged me to write this one.**

 **Also, it was based on my Romanogers Morse code headcanon, which you can find in my Tumblr: ellen-a-book-reading-human-being.**

 **Please leave a review and tell me what you think of it and any ways you think I could improve my writing. I would greatly appreciate it!**

 **~Life is Struggle**


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